Signing Time

I have now checked out all the signing books available in the parenting section of the Stratford Lilbrary. I will have to see if they have anymore hidden in a language section. Some of them were good and some of them were not helpful in the least. I like the one that I have now that explains the origins of the signs which help me remember them easier. I also enjoy it for the fact that it has a lot of signs and many are on a page. This feature allows me to compare signs and see how similar some of them really are.

I put on the Signing Time CDs for Abby tonight. She likes to listen to them while sitting on the arm of the couch. She insists I sit next to her while I sign and sing along. Every once in awhile she will do a few signs with me.

I thought I would check out the Signing Time website, http://www.signingtime.com and check out their forum. I can really only keep my visit there a short one because I get just a tad bit emotional and to keep in control of myself I just need to keep it to a minimum. There are a lot of choices that we will have to make.

It is hard learning a completely new language and so quickly because I want so bad to communicate with my little boy and it is very important. I know people suggest to introduce one or two signs at a time, but that is for hearing babies. If I introduced just a few signs at a time to Max then taht would be like just saying only a few words to my baby who could hear. So, I must learn more and use it.

It is hard remembering to put in Maxwell's hearing aids. It isn't that I forget or don't want to, really, but I know they aren't working. Well, one doesn't fit and we have "permission" to not put it in since it doesn't fit and a new mold needs to be made. The other one fits but I know (a mother's intuition, I guess) that it isn't helping anything.

It is hard having to even think about what my views are on choclear implants and prepare myself if it is something to do, or not.

It is touching to see Maxwell so happy and content. It is touching to see his eyes widen when someone he knows comes in his line of vision and he recognizes them. It is sweet to lie next to him on the bed and stare at his face and he reaches out to touch mine. (this is the only "thing" he reaches for at that angle so far).

I could get up every day and feel sorry for myself and not get anything done. I could get up every day and feel sorry for Maxwell and all the things that he will sturggle with and all the things that are yet to come in the very near future. I could think about this stuff all day but I won't. I really can't, it would do no good and would get nothing accomplished. I tell people when they ask if I am ok that, "I am ok, I can't not be" and so I can't not be ok. My kids need me, my husband needs me and if I fall apart then the family falls apart. This isn't to say I don't think about what is going on. I do, I have to otherwise I would be neglecting to handle the situation and find solutions.

I think about why I haven't cried over this yet and whether I should be crying. I think I have come close. I do allow myself emotions, I really do...but I am comforted beyond what I thought would be possible. I am at peace....